Noise drowns out conversations. It protects you from overhearing things you never consented to hear....
OPINION
I often complain that cafés in Karachi are too loud. Since moving back to Pakistan about two years ago, I’ve been in constant search of a quiet, peaceful place to sit with a cup of coffee.
Today, I discovered maybe that’s a good thing.
Noise drowns out conversations. It protects you from overhearing things you never consented to hear.
So, I am sitting in a relatively quiet café, enjoying myself and waiting for my food.
Quietly.
I overhear things, not because I am snooping but because of the close proximity. I’m on my own and not using my phone.
Two girls at the table next to me are laughing about someone who is pregnant and “looks like a cow.”
At the table in front of me, a young man is clearly trying to impress his date. Yet, he points at her face and says, “Aray, itnay dark circles kyun ho rahay hain? Bohat kam so rahi ho ya bohat zyada?” (“Hey, why are you getting such dark circles? Are you sleeping far too little or far too much?”)
She immediately becomes conscious and wipes under her eyes.
Moments later, he flexes his muscles and asks if his biceps are too big, then proceeds to tell her to touch them, laughing at her and voicing disapproval when she uses one hand instead of two.
I used to think loud places were a problem.
Now I’m wondering if silence is.
Because in the quiet, you hear how casually people comment on bodies, how easily they make others shrink and how confidence is chipped away, sometimes within the first five minutes of a conversation.
Maybe the noise was never the issue.
The writer is a clinical psychologist
People often body shame others without even realising it. Casual remarks about weight, skin, features or appearance are so deeply woven into everyday conversation that many people do not pause to think about the impact of their words. What may seem like a joke, harmless observation or passing comment to one person can quietly damage another person’s confidence. Sometimes, the most hurtful remarks are not made with cruelty but with complete carelessness.
