Guru, I would really appreciate your advice on how to deal with my family problems, as I feel too young to understand what to do....
I am unhappy and frustrated
Dear Guru,
I am a 14-year-old girl and, although I may be young, I have many problems in life. I feel unhappy and frustrated with the life I am currently living. My parents argue a lot and, on one occasion, my father resorted to physical abuse. It only happened once, but it disturbed me greatly. I love both my parents, and I want to find a way to get my parents to stop fighting. I also feel that my parents give more attention to my siblings. They sometimes ask if I am fine with it, and I am not, but I cannot bring myself to say that, so I just say yes.
I have another major concern. I want to do well in my studies and become a doctor, but I find science subjects quite boring, which makes it difficult for me to study. At the same time, the idea of being a doctor and wearing a white coat seems very appealing to me. How can I develop an interest in science subjects?
Guru, I would really appreciate your advice on how to deal with my family problems, as I feel too young to understand what to do. I am very confused and would be grateful for your guidance.
Confused Girl
Dear Confused Girl,
You are dealing with a lot for someone your age, and it makes sense that you feel confused. First, about your parents. Their arguments are not your responsibility to fix. It is natural to want peace at home, but this is something only they can work on.
About feeling overlooked, your feelings matter. If telling your parents directly feels too difficult, you could start small. You can start by telling them that you sometimes feel a bit left out. You do not need to explain everything at once. Being honest is always a good first step.
As for becoming a doctor, it is important to separate the dream from the reality. Being a doctor is not just about the white coat, it requires a real interest and a willingness to work hard at it. Try making science subjects more engaging by watching videos, doing small experiments or relating topics to real life. Sometimes interest grows once you understand things better. Also, keep an open mind. It is perfectly fine if you later discover a different career that suits you better. What matters is finding something you genuinely enjoy and can commit to.
Good luck!
She doesn’t love me
Dear Guru,
I am a 24-year-old engineer working in a private organisation. Guru, I am in love with a colleague of mine, S, but she does not feel the same way about me. She is in love with another colleague of ours, R, but I believe he is not serious about her and is simply having a good time.
I warned S about R, but she thinks I am jealous and even made fun of my feelings. Not only that, she told R what I had said, and he also mocked me. He admitted that I might be right, but said I had no business interfering in something that was not my concern. He told me to stay out of his affairs. I cannot bear the thought of him hurting S, and I am really worried about her. What can I do to help her?
Worried Guy
Dear Worried Guy,
I realise it is painful for you to see R abusing S’s trust, and your concern for her shows that you care deeply. However, there are a couple of things you should understand: you cannot save someone who does not want to be saved, and you cannot make someone love you.
You have already done your part. You warned her once. That was enough. When someone chooses not to listen, pushing further often makes things worse, as you have already experienced. From her perspective, it can feel like interference, especially when she knows you have feelings for her.
Right now, continuing to step in will not protect her. It will only damage your dignity and possibly your professional environment. R has made his position clear, and S has made her shown she will not listen to your advice. Interfering in their affair will only lead to more hurt for you. It is also worth asking yourself honestly whether your concern is entirely about her wellbeing, or partly about your own feelings for her. That is not something to feel guilty about, but recognising it will help you act more wisely.
If R does end up hurting her, it will be a lesson she has to learn herself. People often need to experience things first-hand before they understand them. You cannot live that experience for her. The best thing you can do now is step back with grace. Be polite, professional and respectful at work. Focus on your own life, your growth and your peace of mind. You deserve someone who values your feelings, not someone who dismisses or mocks them. Walking away is not weakness, it is self-respect.
Good luck!
Kindly send your problems at: [email protected]
