What do you mean you’re a “people person?” That doesn't sound wise to me....
COMIC RELIEF
Jono (@whoinvitedjon): My superpower is pressing send, then immediately being ayble to spot spelling or grammar misteaks.
MisterD (@MisterD78UK): What do you mean you’re a “people person?” That doesn't sound wise to me.
Damon Hunzeker (@DamonHunzeker): They’ve cured diabetes in mice. Now we just need to figure out how to turn you into a mouse and you’ll be fine.
Andy vs (@im_all_id): I know everything costs a lot more now but at least it’s also worse quality.
Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats): I don’t know what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone insisting it’s hilarious.
Darla (@ddsmidt): I've got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.
Ann (@lwjseire): 90% of my life is just me hopebaiting myself.
Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe): Him: Let’s go jogging.
Me: I think we should see other people.
InLucysHead (@InsideLucysHead): Hitler held out, and fought a war for 6 years+...
But shot himself 45 minutes after getting married.
Buddawiggi (@MarkBuckawicki): Look at all the things in your immediate environment; that’s World War III memorabilia.
Vivian (@suchnerve): More like the Geneva Suggestions.
Danny Wallace (@dannywallace): We’re gonna need a bigger Hague.
THE PATIENT
A man goes in for a physical and the doctor asks him about his daily routine and activity level.
The man says, “Well, Doc, just yesterday afternoon, I must’ve walked at least five miles. I waded up to my knees in a lake, just stepped out of the way of an aggressive rattlesnake, crawled out of quicksand, stood in a poison ivy patch, outran a pack of wild dogs in the underbrush, and climbed up and down five steep hills.”
The doctor, listening to all of this, is duly impressed: “Man, you must be an amazing outdoorsman!”
“Nah, Doc,” the man replies. “I’m just a terrible golfer.”
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde
