Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe): My emergency preparedness kit just contains all the ingredients necessary to make nachos....
COMIC RELIEF
Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe): My emergency preparedness kit just contains all the ingredients necessary to make nachos.
Fly Robyn Fly (@whyrobynwhy): At least we can all agree that the best way to hunker is down.
Robert Bonnett (@RoBonnett79): I’m a little too old now to rage against the machine but I still do sometimes rant against it.
Mac Dickson (@MacDicksonShow): “You look nice today.”
“Thanks, these are my dress sweatpants.”
Neet (@neet_sol): A 9 to 5 job means you live at work and visit your house at night.
Andy vs. (@im_all_id): Democratic leaders act like time travellers afraid to do anything that might change the future.
Caitlin (@caitlin_mmm): We need more dinosaur shaped foods. Why did we stop at nuggets?
Maro (@ProofofMaro): Did you know that if you wear your socks inside out, the entire universe is wearing your socks except you.
Meghan (@deloisivete): The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, so why is my whole family standing in the kitchen.
Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric): In hell you have to listen to voicemails.
Darla (@ddsmidt): People who think you can use logic and reason when dealing with a crazy person clearly don’t understand how crazy works.
Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): Remember to start each day by immediately grabbing your phone and exploding with anxiety and rage at the news.
A fire started on some grassland near a farm. The local fire department was called to put the fire out, but it proved to be more than the small-town firefighters could handle, so someone suggested that a nearby volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they would be of any help, the call was made.
The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated, old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire and, to everyone’s surprise, stopped right in the middle of the flames. The volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controllable parts.
The farmer was so impressed with their work and so grateful that his farm had been spared that he presented them with a check for $1,000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.
“That should be obvious,” he responded. “The first thing we’re gonna do is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck.”
“Life is a blank canvas, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.” – Danny Kaye
