A horrifying caption? I know, right! Most people might look at this title and quickly turn the page in horror...
HEARTBREAK
A horrifying caption? I know, right! Most people might look at this title and quickly turn the page in horror, thinking, “Can this really happen? May this day never come upon us.” I used to be one of those people … until recently, when we received a beautiful wedding invitation card with his name on it.
Yes, some unfortunate people really do have to face the reality of attending their crush’s wedding and enduring that heart-wrenching feeling. One moment you are imagining yourself as the bride at that very wedding, and the next you are listening to him say “qabool hai” to someone else. In short, the entire experience can make you want to run away.
With wedding season in full swing, who knows whose marriage you might be attending next. So here’s a little guide to what you may feel if, by some cruel twist of fate, you find yourself at your crush’s – or ex’s – wedding.
There are six stages of attending your crush’s/ex’s wedding:
This stage begins the moment you receive the wedding invitation, your name printed neatly on the outside and his on the inside. Your inner voice immediately goes into rebellion: “This is impossible. How can this happen? I don’t believe it. This must be some mistake.”
In the denial stage, you cling desperately to any alternative explanation. Maybe it’s someone with the same name. Maybe it’s a rumour. Maybe the card was printed wrongly. Logic temporarily packs its bags and leaves.
For some, this phase lasts only a few days. For others – the truly soft-hearted – it continues right up until the ultimate reality check: seeing the bride and groom seated together on the stage, smiling for the cameras.
This is an on-and-off stage that overlaps with denial and often continues long after it has faded. During this phase, you either start planning ways to avoid the wedding altogether or decide you will not dress up or make an effort, as if your appearance should reflect your heartbreak.
In truth, this feeling lingers throughout the entire event, while the world around you celebrates.
Third stage – the challenge
Finally, the third stage arrives – the turning point. This is when denial slowly fades and you accept the wedding invitation as a challenge.
Suddenly, this is no longer just a wedding; it is a mission. You decide you will dress so impeccably that your crush simply has to notice you. You head out shopping with determination. You buy all the makeup and jewellery you will need in order to accomplish your mission. A new outfit? Essential. Perfect shoes? Obviously.
But guys, who are you kidding? He is the groom. He is about to get married. His attention is unlikely to wander from the bride to admire your carefully chosen highlighter.
Ah, you brave, hopeful souls.
This stage might be easier for you if you give fake smiles to people and to the world. During the wedding days, it appears the moment the groom glances in your direction (purely accidental, most likely). Instantly, you switch it on to show him that you are the happiest, most carefree person in the room, as though you are there solely for the food, the photographs, and the celebration.
If only he knew.
P.S. This is a particularly challenging stage. Be prepared.
From a difficult stage to the most difficult one.
Does this stage even require an explanation? Honestly, I don’t think so. I don’t even have words to explain the sentiments at this time. It’s a state of total numbness.
This stage is the ultimate mixed form of grief, loss, and acceptance in which the person feels like everything has ended. You cannot do anything about it. Nobody can bring back your crush to you. But slowly, as time passes by, you accept your feelings and you start considering the bride and groom as one.
So, guys, after reading all these stages, I’m sure some of you are now slightly terrified of attending a wedding like this. But honestly, it’s not actually that bad.
There are bright sides, too. Like just getting to see your crush one last time, even from a distance, gives you the best feelings in the world.
You survive the wedding. You survive the stages. And somewhere between the tears, the fake smiles, and the final farewell, you grow a little stronger.
Happy wedding season, everyone!
