I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining....
COMIC RELIEF
Miss Ally (@MissAlly_01): I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Michael (@michaelo2016): Them: A bunch of us are going out Saturday night! You in?
Me: I would but I’m already in my PJs.
Them: Mike, it’s Thursday.
Me: Your point?
Meghan (@deloisivete): Step 1 of any recipe should be my husband and kids get out of the kitchen.
Solyricon (@Solyricon): When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently when you start liking him back, he suddenly becomes very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.
Zion (@zionszzn): Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.
Matty (@bestestname): AI will never hold you when you feel sad.
People won't either.
But AI doesn't even have arms.
The meji. (@mejitwo): But would your thesis defend YOU?
Mark (@AgingRanchHand): 75 and sunny. Perfect day for sending emails.
Gilbert (@AbakpaJob): I like how glasses suggest intelligence instead of broken eyes.
Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): Always be sure to edit your writing long enough to hate absolutely everything about it.
Dinah (@dinahaddie): I think we have enough podcasts. We can stop now.
323 (@Ggod323): I can't believe some people do this for 80 years.
Josh Meyer (@JoshMeyer): Just call me the numerator.
I'm so over everything.
A time traveler goes back to ancient Rome and immediately starts looking for local clothing.
He finds a tailor's shop and says, “Hey, could I have a toga please?”
“Sure, what size?” says the shopkeeper.
“I don’t know. Let's try an L.”
The shopkeeper hands him a toga, the time traveler tries it on, then says “It’s a bit tight. Could I try an XL, please?”
Irked, the shopkeeper replies, “What the heck is the point of asking for a smaller one?”
“The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” – Mark Twain
