We would probably be better off if Y2K had actually ruined all the computers back in 2000....
XWit
Elizabeth Boyd (@elizabethltboyd): We would probably be better off if Y2K had actually ruined all the computers back in 2000.
Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom): I say “no worries” a lot for someone who’s been in a permanent state of panic for 20 years.
LV (@levirelates): “Your password is weak” well so is my memory, pls let me keep it.
Sam Skoronski (@SamSkoronski): Me: I've been doing CrossFit for a year now.
Him: Are you fit?
Me: No, but I'm cross.
Hollie Harris (@allholls): Getting through an entire bag of salad before it liquefies is on my bucket list.
Alice Mills (@millsalice144): What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould): Me: My neck is a little stiff.
WebMD: You're in rigor mortis.
Trash Jones (@jzux): “Would you still love me if I was a worm” Girl he would stop loving you if you got a weird haircut.
Drew (@drewrhyde): Sometimes I think I don't have ADHD and then I catch myself looking at a map of Malta when I'm supposed to be sending emails.
Ravn (@mfnravn): Sorry for all the awful stuff I said when I was right.
A woman gets a call from a scammer.
Woman: “Hello.”
Scammer: (thick, heavy accent) “Hello. This is Tom Smith from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity coming from your device.”
Woman: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”
Scammer: “Oh yes, Madam. We have many reports.”
Woman: “Oh, jeez. How can I fix it?”
Scammer: “It’s okay, Madam. We can help you right now. Are you in front of your device?”
Woman: “Yes. I was just about to use it. I’m glad you called.”
Scammer: “Good, Madam. Please push the Start button.”
Woman: “I think it’s already on.”
Scammer: “Okay, Madam. Now click on Control Panel.”
Woman: “I don’t see that.”
Scammer: “Do you see a bunch of information above the Start button?”
Woman: “Yes.”
Scammer: “That is your Control Panel.”
Woman: “Wow. I didn’t realize it had a name.”
Scammer: “Yes, Madam. Now press Internet Options.”
Woman: “I don’t see any Internet options. I don’t think I bought that feature. This is just a cheap one.”
Scammer: “All devices have Internet, Madam. Press the Start button again.”
Woman: “Okay. Same as before.”
Scammer: “That’s fine, Madam. We will restart your device. Please turn it off.”
Woman: “Um… I don’t know how. I’ve never turned it off. It kind of just stays on.”
Scammer: “There must be an off button. How do you stop it when it’s running?”
Woman: “I usually press the big button.”
Scammer: “Okay, Madam. Press that button.”
Woman: “Okay.”
Scammer: “Is your device off?”
Woman: “No. The door popped open.”
Scammer: “Door? Is there a disc inside?”
Woman: “No. There’s a burrito.”
Scammer: “Why is there a burrito in your computer?”
Woman: “Computer? I thought you said this was microwave support.”
