Be the pervasive sense of foreboding and underlying dread that you want to see in the world....
S (@rexs_ma): I just made 3 boiled eggs instead of 2 because I felt bad leaving 1 egg on its own in the box in case anyone wondered how weird I am.
Maddy (@MadHatterMommy): I did the math: 2 cups of coffee is better than 1.
CoCo (@unhingebinge): So many scammers on the Internet. Send me $20 and I'll tell you all about them.
Krista (@kristabellerina): Trying to buy something at an actual store, and they’re like, What’s your email? Phone number? Zip code? Blood type?
Stu, For Real (@StuForReal): Be the pervasive sense of foreboding and underlying dread that you want to see in the world.
Frän (@fundersum): Don't ask me to do anything, I'm still practicing writing 2026.
Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau): The worst part of babies is they’re apparently incorruptible. You own literally nothing, how are you refusing a million dollars to stop crying??
Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues): Everyone’s a genius until they have to use someone else’s microwave.
Maddy (@MadHatterMommy): Every person you meet is pressured with thoughts you don’t know. Make it worse by asking them how they are.
Matty (@bestestname): Maybe begging strangers for attention online will cure me.
A cop pulls over an old lady who is driving at the speed of 35mph on a 75mph highway. He asks her why she is driving so slow.
“The sign back there says 35!” she says.
“Ma'am,” the cop responds, “that is the interstate sign – this is I-35, the speed limit is not 35.”
He then notices someone in the passenger seat who is profusely sweating and trembling. He asks the man what is wrong.
“We just got off of State Road 250,” the passenger replies.
“If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.” – Marie Osmond
