A wedding ceases to be private when it becomes a spectacle of excess. The much-discussed multi-billion-rupee necklace at a public office-holder’s daughter’s wedding has come to signify more than extravagance. It has become an image of inequality and elite detachment.
The issue is not wealth itself nor the right to celebrate. It is the stark spectacle of opulence beside millions grappling daily with the arithmetic of survival.
Marriage has long been regarded as one of the most sacred social contracts. In Islam, its solemnisation is a deeply honoured institution, rooted in faith, family and mutual responsibility. It is a covenant that brings two lives together in affection and care. Marriage creates not merely a household, but a bond of dignity, trust and companionship.
Traditionally, weddings were occasions of prayer and fellowship. Families and communities gathered in shared joy. Their meaning lay not in conspicuous display, but in the warmth of gathering and the dignity of the occasion. The gathering honoured two lives embarking on a shared journey.
That meaning is increasingly overshadowed by the demands of presentation. Designer couture, elaborate stage sets and towering floral displays transform the venue into a theatre of grandeur. Lighting rigs choreograph the atmosphere, while cameras and drones record every moment. What should be an intimate union begins to look less like a wedding and more like an elaborately staged production.
Consumerism has accelerated this transformation. An entire industry persuades families that love must be measured in expenditure. Luxury designers, wedding planners and content creators all contribute to this culture. They cultivate an appetite for ever-greater grandeur, until spending becomes a currency of status.
Under this crushing conformity, modesty becomes a liability. Families who choose smaller weddings risk insinuations that they have somehow failed their daughters. Extravagance is no longer simply chosen. It can become an expectation that families feel compelled to meet.
The contradiction is most glaring at the top. Ordinary families face inflation and economic insecurity. Lavish weddings can turn private wealth into a public benchmark. Pakistan’s wedding economy is estimated at around 900 billion rupees annually. It represents a vast parallel market sustained largely by aspiration, competition and pressure to conform.
The ultimate irony unfolds as the bride departs beneath the Quran. Days of conspicuous consumption and social one-upmanship have preceded that moment. The contrast is difficult to miss. Religion calls believers towards humility and moderation. The pageantry, however, spreads over days and celebrates abundance. Faith is invoked with reverence even as extravagance eclipses marriage’s sanctity and simplicity.
The gap between principle and practice extends beyond the wedding hall. Privilege can turn excess into the norm, and public display reinforces it. Social practices do not merely mark values; they reproduce them. When sacred symbols become props, reverence gives way to performance and a marriage staged for public approval can carry that burden long after the wedding ends.
The financial toll is severe. Assets are liquidated to maintain an image of prosperity. Families exhaust lifelong savings or incur debt to avoid public embarrassment. Money intended for education, housing or healthcare is sacrificed for days of pageantry. The festivities end, but the liabilities remain.
For many young people, marriage is delayed not by reluctance to commit but by the cost attached to the ceremony. An institution once broadly accessible is increasingly constrained by purchasing power. Financial capacity eclipses emotional readiness.
Women often face particular scrutiny in this context. Wedding theatrics can intensify that pressure. When families cannot afford extravagance, the perceived shortfall may be associated with the daughter and her family.
This pressure begins long before a marriage proposal arrives. In a culture that privileges sons, rising marriage costs can reinforce the perception of daughters as financial burdens. Weddings become public measures of family wealth, shaping how both the family and its daughter are perceived. What should mark the beginning of a woman’s new life can instead become a measure of her family’s standing and, by implication, her own worth.
A culture that equates dignity with display inevitably marginalises those who cannot afford to perform prosperity. Women occupy the centre of many wedding rituals while still facing unequal standing. They therefore bear a disproportionate burden. An institution meant to provide security and companionship can become a source of anxiety, debt and vulnerability.
The answer is not to abolish festivity but to reclaim celebration from coercion. Weddings can remain joyful and meaningful without becoming measures of wealth or tests of standing. The real change begins when dignity is separated from extravagance. Celebration should be freed from the pressure to compete.
We need the courage to embrace modest celebration. Honour should rest on integrity, not opulence. The marriage must matter more than the pageantry surrounding it. Religious and community leaders, elders and families must bring practice into closer alignment with principle. Faith should not be invoked while customs that contradict its values are perpetuated.
When appearances eclipse substance, marriage risks becoming another casualty of performing prosperity. Women, especially daughters in an already deeply stratified society, will bear the heaviest burden. They will be judged by what their families can afford. They will be shamed for what they cannot provide and forced to carry expectations they never chose.
A marriage needs two hearts, yet society -- ever seeking an audience -- has turned the sacred into spectacle. Pageantry takes centre stage; the vows become an afterthought. What is sacred must be reclaimed from the culture of performance. A covenant meant to unite two lives in love, dignity and mutual care should never become a public display of worth.
The writer explores the forces which shape power, belief and society.
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