Job hunting is a very efficient way to lose whatever faith you had in yourself....
COMIC RELIEF
Mishap (@ewmishal): Job hunting is a very efficient way to lose whatever faith you had in yourself.
Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl): Marriage is 99% sending each other tiktoks from the other room.
Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): “I only use ChatGPT for the small stuff, like spell check, editing, research, writing, thinking, and life advice.”
(@witnessborne): Cars should have a second horn that means “I’m sorry”.
Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence): Sorry, science. I don’t need a humanoid robot to vacuum my living room, I need my dog to live to 50. Get your priorities straight.
Ezra (@kkiidane): I hate when people on the train aren’t racist and come sit next to me.
Erin Chack (@ErinChack): Best part of getting a divorce is saying “this is worse than my divorce” at minor inconveniences.
Mr.Carter (@dexteristwisted): Job interviewer: Says here you went to Yale.
Me: Correct, I was there for my niece’s graduation.
Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel): Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Sure. You’re getting worse every year and it’s going to get people killed.
Meghan (@deloisivete): I just stood up from my desk and stubbed my toe, which made me knock over a full water bottle while swearing, and my watch congratulated me on the activity.
Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould): I want to travel more but I still don’t have enough balloons to lift my house.
Pathetically Normal (@Fredzipfel): Time piles things up over all wounds.
A man goes to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law who is in serious condition. When he gets back home, his wife asks, “Well? How is she doing?”
“Apparently she’s doing great,” the husband says. “She’s gonna get out of the hospital and live with us for decades.”
“Amazing!” says the wife. “But ... I don’t understand. Yesterday the doctor said she only had a few days to live!”
“Well, I don’t know about yesterday,” the husband replies, “but today the doctor told me to prepare for the worst.”
“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” – George Carlin
