Submitting job applications in 2026 is a lot like when you were younger and you’d write letters to Santa....
COMIC RELIEF
Neet (@neet_sol): Submitting job applications in 2026 is a lot like when you were younger and you’d write letters to Santa.
MP Arizona (@AzPetrich): Petition to start naming heatwaves after oil companies and wildfires after their CEOs.
Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrew Nadeau): Spending my first two wishes on things I hope will make the genie think I’m cool.
Trash Jones (@jzux): You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. And also 99.999999999999% of the shots you do take.
Meghan (@deloisivete): Just watched my kid dip his chapstick into vaseline before applying it, and I’m not sure if he’s onto something or if I should be concerned.
Jenny Doesn’t Know (@HighlyIngenious): My smile lights up the psych ward.
Miia (@miiagarro): I know dictatorships are bad, but maybe if we try with ME in charge it’ll be different.
L (@Ann_Hedonia1): Tired of all these grainy UFO videos. Just LMK when they start doing podcasts.
Benny ‘SF’ Rollins (@citizenkawala): The shower goes for as long as I need to think about every single thing I’ve done wrong in my life.
Turgid Verse (@gullyvuhr): Hey girl, you like these signals? I mixed them just for you.
Ccee (@1ovesickkk): “How’s life going?” IDK bro, I’ve been ignoring it.
Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould): Maybe being awake just isn’t my thing.
Les Travold (@LesTravold): Who cares? No, really. I want to know. Names and addresses if possible.
(@vamptact): Son, your mother and I are unfollowing each other on Instagram.
Exhausted and famished, a vagabond stumbles to a roadside inn with a sign that reads “George and the Dragon”. He knocks at the gate and the innkeeper’s wife sticks her head out a window.
“Could ye spare a bit of victuals?” he asks.
The woman glances at his shabby, dirty clothes. “No!” she shouts.
“Could I have a sip of water?”
“No!” she shouts again.
“Could I at least sleep in your stable?”
“No!” she repeats.
The vagabond says, “Might I please...?”
“What now?” the woman screeches.
“D’ye suppose,” he asks, “that I might have a word with George?”
“The funniest people are the saddest ones.” – Confucius
