Sitting midday with a migraine that may seem to be due to dehydration, exhaustion or burnout...
INTROSPECTION
Sitting midday with a migraine that may seem to be due to dehydration, exhaustion or burnout, I find myself incapable of pointing to a reason. I am interrupted, or shall I say deliberately intercepted, by a conversation. What was an attempt to relieve my symptoms became an arduous task of exchanging words to no one’s avail.
A conversation that feels like a game of squash, where every opportunity for understanding, empathising and growing feels like a pellet striking against a rigid wall.
Several questions hang mid-air, almost like a raindrop from an innocent, weighed-down branch of a blossoming lemon tree.
“What is the purpose of life?”
Followed by:
“When does happiness become synonymous with purpose?”
“And if the purpose is lost, does that mean happiness is lost too?”
And then the question remains:
“Does purpose change meaning over time?”
“And would that mean happiness, too, is subjective?”
“Is there greener grass? A promised land? A richer pasture? A life beyond suffering?”
And finally:
“Do we get to dictate life’s course, or do life and fate make that choice for us?”
To me, it seems life is never in our control. Even our so-called conscious choices and deliberate, well-informed decisions are already made on our behalf. Before birth, our genetics govern our chances of survival in this world, our inherent nature, our childhoods, our parents, our friends, society, its norms, unspoken rules and decisions settle in our minds as the status quo, and we abide by them.
But even beyond that, our paths are already written in heaven; our fates are determined. It is only our intention that determines the outcome.
So, you see life as a test. A test of abundance and deprivation. It is our intentions, guided by our predetermined moral compass, that dictate our destiny.
If we let go and let Allah decide our destinies for us, we save ourselves from confusion, stress and a sense of being lost. It is complete surrender and tawakkul in His plan. It is to live with gratitude even in the face of suffering, systemic failure and injustice.
For surrendering does not mean we let go of the effort. It means that our purest effort has been made and the outcome is up to the Almighty, and that we unite our happiness with His divine plan and wisdom.
It is only then that one can survive the rising tides of chaos and conflict in the present times.
