close
US

COMIC RELIEF

By  US Desk
17 July, 2026

A funeral home director puts out a wanted ad for out-of-work actors. An actor shows up and asks, “What's the job?”...

COMIC RELIEF

XWit

Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): 1) read

2) re-read

3) re-re-read

4) re-re-re-read

5) submit

6) typo

Erin Chack (@ErinChack): [inventing the letter Q] let’s do O again, but this time give it a cigarette.

SeaShell (@DianeP89): Autocorrect just switched cough medicine to can’t ugh medicine and I’ve never felt more understood.

27. (@dimvji): Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars.

Meghan (@deloisivete): My method for watching soccer is to start paying attention whenever the announcers talk faster.

William Freakin (@notcousinwayne): If you ever catch yourself asking where an actor has been, they’re on season 3 of an Apple TV show.

Ritz (@ridhima_z): I was bored so I txt my ex asking if he’s free tonight. He said yes and I replied: see, nobody wants you.

Krista (@kristabellerina): My kid has a friend who sometimes bakes cookies for me so yes I do have a favorite child.

Midnight Cowboy (@cowboyjeffkent): Sorry I left your party early; if it makes you feel better I mentally never showed up at all.

Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould): Not today Satan. Can you do lunch tomorrow?

Whis_pea (@whis_pea): I'm killing time and time's killing me.

Laugh Lines

THE JOB

A funeral home director puts out a wanted ad for out-of-work actors. An actor shows up and asks, “What's the job?”

“It's easy,” the undertaker replies. “On the day of the funeral, you know how we load the casket into that long car?”

“The hearse? Oh yeah, sure.”

“Sometimes, the back door opens and the casket falls out into the street. Your job is to drive behind the car, and if that happens, you jump out and reload the casket into the back of the car."

“Ok, but why do you need an actor for this particular job?”

“Because you guys are so good at rehearsing.”

THE ACCIDENT

A doctor gets into a car accident. A passerby hurries to his car, runs up to him and asks, “Doc, are you alright?!”

The doctor replies, “How should I know? I’m not a lawyer…”

POINTS TO PONDER

COMIC RELIEF

“Be the person your dog thinks you are.” – J.W. Stephens

COMIC RELIEF


More From US