Coming home to himself

Ghar, an eight-track debut solo album by Sherry Khattak, moves between personal narr-atives, imagined situations and observations about the world around him. From the loss at the heart of ‘Ghar’ to the anger of ‘Qayamat’ and the sense of confinement in ‘Qaid’, Khattak is interested in the emotional truth of a situation, even when he has not experienced it himself.

Instep spoke to the musician about working outside a band, producing his own music and the pressure artists face to cons-tantly create content, as well as the songs that did not make the album and why he prefers playing to a small room of people who know his music rather than catering to a crowd who might number in thousands but do not know the music or the sacred moments that take to create a full-length album.

Instep: You’ve worked as a singer, songwriter, guitarist and producer. For this album, how would you identify yourself first and where did the process begin?

Sherry Khattak (SK): I think it has always been about expressing myself. Before I got into singing, I got into making songs. Guitar was my go-to instrument and my way of exp-loring sounds, and eventually I started singing while I played.

With this album, I’ve done everything, from guitars, vocals and bass to sequencing drums, playing keyboards, mixing and even mastering some tracks. I wanted to push myself and have fun with it, without the baggage of working on huge projects. So I went underground for a month, took a break from everything and gave myself the time to dive into the music.

Instep: Is your creative starting point the same no matter what kind of project you’re working on, with Ghar perhaps being the most inti-mate example, or does it vary depending on the project?

SK: Every project comes with its own complications. Doing this album by myself at home was different. I’m used to studio spaces, sets and big productions, so working on something this minimal and intimate was a break from that environment. I just did what felt right. I didn’t want to overcomplicate it or take too many second opinions. I wanted to follow my instincts.

Instep: There’s been a gap of years between the Kara-koram album and this solo album. Has doing this on your own terms been freeing?

SK: Yeah. With a band, there’s always a certain amount of compromise. In a band, it’s more like a marriage. You have to let go of some ideas and wait for everyone to be ready. For me, doing this on my own was about finally getting all these ideas I had for a long time, out.

The pace with a band was pretty slow and you can’t blame them because I’m involved in so many projects myself. At one point, I thought, I’m just wasting time. I should release music whenever I get free time rather than waiting for the right moment or for other people to be available. Doing this album helped me become more confi-dent in my ideas and in putting them out.

Instep: Tell me about the title, Ghar. What does it mean to you?

SK: That was probably the last song I wrote during the process. My lounge was a makeshift studio and every day I’d wake up, eat breakfast and go straight into making music. At some point I realised it’s not really about the space, it’s about the people who inhabit it. My wife was there too, giving me her pointers as the co-producer of the album. Then I started thinking, what if she’s not here? What if I’m in the same space but she’s not there? How would I live?

The song is about someone who has lived with someone for a long time and then comes back alone. Suddenly, everything around him feels empty. It’s just walls, lights and doors.

Everything he did was because of the person who was with him. It also connects with the album because I made the whole thing in my home.

Instep: These eight songs move between intimate narr-atives and larger questions about the world around us. How much of that wider world enters your writing?

SK: Personal stories, introsp-ection, what you notice around you and what you’ve seen close friends and family go through can all fuel your narrative. Even different kinds of music can influence that. We’re fed so much information every day and, at times, I feel we’re in a bad time where so much is happening. The world has never been a good place, but the lens is getting wider because we’re exposed to so much more. I’m not qualified to talk about politics or world issues. I’m a very simple man. I focus on taking one day at a time.

With my music, I want to heal people. If someone has gone through something and relates to even a little of what I’m saying, that’s my job. I don’t want to limit my narratives to things I’ve personally experienced.

Sometimes a situation, an emotion or even something I’ve seen can make me imagine a story and explore it through music.

Instep: One of those songs is ‘Qayamat’. Where did that come from?

SK: I was going through a creative block and had my friend Bilal come over. When you’re writing, you can stop and think too much. When there’s someone with you, you bounce ideas off each other. What I do is make music and then let it speak to me. What is it? What is it feeling like? It’s not about what it’s saying, it’s about how it feels.

“‘Ghar’ was probably the last song I wrote during the process. My lounge was a makeshift studio and every day I’d wake up, eat breakfast and go straight into making music. At some point I realised it’s not really about the space, it’s about the people who inhabit it. My wife was there too, giving me her pointers as the co-producer of the album. Then I started thinking, what if she’s not here? What if I’m in the same space but she’s not there? How would I live? The song is about someone who has lived with someone for a long time and then comes back alone. Suddenly, everything around him feels empty. It’s just walls, lights and doors. Everything he did was because of the person who was with him. It also connects with the album because I made the whole thing in my home.” – Sherry Khattak on the meaning behind the album title and the song ‘Ghar’

We were talking about keeping everything inside and he showed me a video of an old man who had lost someone. He was very emotional and stayed silent because he said that he had so much anger and fire inside him that if he said something, he might end up burning the whole world. He was from a war zone where the situation is still heartbreaking. Looking at his story formed the backbone of the song. There are moments when you keep something inside and think, if I say it, it’s going to be chaos. I kept thinking about that person and wrote ‘Qayamat’.

Instep: There’s a line in ‘Qaid’ about having every-thing and still feeling as though the sky is a cage. Is that about having everything and still feeling trapped?

SK: Yeah, exactly. You reach a point where you’re like, okay, I’ve got everything. Now what? The sky still feels like a cage. The idea was about someone who has achieved everything in his life but, in that pursuit, has lost the one person he was open to and loved. He has so many people around him, but still longs for that one look from the person he lost. Even that one look would be enough for him to die in peace.

But he left that person behind in the pursuit of getting everything. I keep coming back to this mindset: this is my last day. I just have to spend it the way I like. I shouldn’t focus too much on getting things. ‘Qaid’ is about that mindset.

Instep: The pursuit of wanting more and more… capitalism, con-sumer culture?

SK: You could say that…

Instep: ‘Qaid’ feels more fluid and languid, with the guitars creating a universe around the vocals. Given that the song is about being imprisoned and having everything yet still feeling trapped, why did you choose such a flowing sound?

SK: That flowy, mellow sound was intentional. When you’re confused, it doesn’t always show on the outside. I wanted it to feel like someone realising something as he’s talking about it rather than panicking. I’m expressing what I’m going through rather than reacting to it, so I wanted to keep it at a storytelling point.

Instep: Almost like functional depression?

SK: Exactly.

Instep: Across the album, you touch on themes of broken promises, silence, heartbreak and complicated emotions. Do these reflect something you were wrestling with, or did the music itself lead you there?

SK: Everything isn’t my personal story. Anything that speaks to me can become a narrative and, a lot of the time, the music guides me there. For me, it’s about connecting with what I’m feeling and being honest about it rather than approaching it as a marketing thought process. I don’t think every song has to be a hit or speak about something completely different. There are different stories, but they reflect the mindset I was in while making the album.

That’s also why we didn’t release the album all at once. We’re doing weekly drops, with a song coming out every Wednesday until the album is complete and then compiled. It gives each song some space and lets me see how people connect with them as they come out.

Instep: In terms of sound, ‘Ghar’ feels like one of the softest and most restrained songs on the album. Was that by design?

SK: Yes. It’s the first song on the album that has no tempo. It’s just me sitting there with two mics in front of me, tracking the guitars and feeling how slow I want it to be. I played it impromptu and made it as raw as I could. It felt like that was enough to put across the message without adding too many musical parts or transitions. When you listen to it, the only focus is on the story. Nothing is distracting you.

Instep: ‘Aadi’ is a melodic rock song but it’s also very thumping. I hear electronic influences and it feels like something that could make you want to dance. How did you achieve that sound when you played all the instrumentation yourself?

SK: Producing really helped me diversify and explore where I could go with my sound. I was just fitting things around a sound and ended up with a fuzz on the guitar. It felt like it needed that constant groove. With my experience of different types of music and genres, it felt natural. I wasn’t thinking, this needs to be danceable or sound a certain way. I just made it feel right in my vocabulary.

The song is about backstabbers, people who are happy in front of your face and smiling at you but aren’t really okay with you. It’s about someone who has seen it so many times that he thinks, I know you’ll do it again, but I’m used to it now. Even if you stab me, kill me, burn me, whatever you want to do, I’m numb to this experience with you.

Instep: The music industry has changed dramatically since your last album release with Karakoram. How do you feel about the pressure on musicians to constantly create content and engage with social media, TikTok and all of it?

SK: I’ve honestly tried to adapt. I’ve gone out of my way to post about the album while staying true to myself rather than fabricating content. I’ve seen artists fall into the rabbit hole where content becomes the main thing and the music gets lost. The aim becomes getting more followers and likes. I don’t want to go down that lane. I want people who, even if they’re few, are my people.

But every kind of music has its audience. You have to be active because if you don’t do anything, you’re not creating the possibility of reaching people. But you also have to keep your goals clear. If I focus only on reels and content, I become an influencer rather than doing justice to the music I’m making.

Instep: Were there songs you made that didn’t make it onto the album?

SK: Oh, yeah. I made around 20 songs and eight made it to this album. The others are in a folder called Album 2, and I’m starting to build around them. I’ve also got ideas in my phone that I can come back to. That one month was important for me in terms of generating ideas.

Instep: Artists ultimately want to play their music for an audience. Is there a plan to tour around this record?

SK: Yeah. Live shows are another ball game. I didn’t want to jump into huge concerts where promoters are pushing my name regardless of whether people want to listen to me or not. If you’re playing to 10,000 people who don’t know you or your songs, it’s heartbreaking. Whereas if I’m in a room with 10 people who love my songs and are singing along, that’s what makes my night. So I decided to do these concerts with a limited number of people on my own.

September 26 is the first one, at Giraffe. There’s a studio where we rehearse and we’re thinking of inviting around 50 or 60 people. There won’t be a stage. We’ll be right in the middle of the room, with people around us, and play all the songs.

Instep: Are you thinking of going beyond Lahore because this album is such a breath of fresh air with the rise of certain genres to the point that nothing else matters (to be honest)?

SK: Thank you! Yes, we are thinking of other cities including Karachi but the starting point is Lahore.